Ben Palavi
I am Ben Palavi, born in Glen Innes, spent some of my childhood growing up in Mt. Roskill before 2001 my family migrated to Sydney, and my family has been here ever since.
I was fortunate enough to marry an inspirational mind, my wife Melefatai Palavi. After 3 weeks of being married, we decided to move back to New Zealand. Living in Manurewa, then moving to Papakura, before finding a home in Mt. Wellington where we lived for 3 years.
We had some family things pop-up, which required us to move back to Sydney. So, we’re currently here in Australia with my family, and also with my inspiration, my wife. We’ve back here since May 2021, although I am enjoying my time here, I really miss being back home in Auckland.
We didn’t have much, we were happy with what we had. Being apart of God’s Country, we tend to learn pretty quick: that what you have, is what you should be grateful for. There’s a purpose and a reason why you have the things that you do, and I’m a big believer in that. It’s only YOU that can change the circumstances where you’re in. You don’t need to see the whole staircase for you to take the first step – JUST TAKE IT.
Most of my high school life at an all-boys Catholic school here in Sydney, I didn’t really enjoy it. School wasn’t for me, and I knew that real early. I left school when I was 16 years old, and I knew then that I wanted to earn a decent living/good coin and be able to buy the things I need in life. As I got older, I realized that it’s not about what I have in my bank account that makes me happy. Life’s too short to be miserable working somewhere, even if the money is good, and I’m grateful I’ve learnt that.
I LOVE talking to people about their dreams. I’m a big softie for people who are dreamchasers, conquerors, or executors – I love those people who aren’t afraid to go against the grain and do their own thing. Which is why I love my inspiration, my wife, because she does her. She does her thing, and I let her shine as bright as she wants to shine.
I got involved with The HEART Movement through my wife, Melefatai Palavi. She was very involved in the community, especially with HEART. I came to a few HEART events to help, and it was a snowball effect, came to a few events and eventually became a Change Agent.
It’s because HEART wanted to make a change in the community, and change requires topics that people tend to shy away from. HEART is a big factor in trying to shift and make change in the community especially with regards to domestic violence.
The HEART Movement is often a voice for people who don’t have one. From my time there, I noticed different people who didn’t know how to deal with what they were going through in life. Often, HEART became that keystone that enabled them to voice their feelings or thoughts. That’s what I love the most about HEART. Like I said earlier, they’re not afraid to jump in the deep end and help our community in any way they can. Whether it’s food or community trainings, I love the support network that The HEART Movement has built to benefit Tāmaki.
A fun fact about me? I didn’t really listen to reggae music until I met my wife, before that all I listened to was gangsta rap. Also, I LOVE eating ice cream. No matter what time of day it is, but I’m lactose intolerant… oh well, I’ll leave that story for another day. When I’m in New Zealand, I can have ice cream in the morning, at midday, in the middle of the night. I love ice cream… and cereal too. I can have cereal anytime of the day. If I could just live on cereal, I’d be all good with that.
I just updated my CV; I like to keep it up to date. On my CV, I always have a quote to start off. It gives the person who’s reading it an idea of who I am. What I have on there is one of my favourite speeches from Denzel Washington where he says, “Ease is a greater threat to progress, than hardship”. Meaning that people think they can progress by being comfortable, this is unrealistic – THERE’S NO WAY YOU CAN. You progress by being uncomfortable. You become more self-reliant learning that.
Also, sacrifice. Sacrifice is leaving something good for something better. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, if you’re not happy where you’re at, take a leap of faith.
You’ve got to learn that being you is more than enough, and if you cannot find that in yourself, I would recommend working towards it. Trying to be like someone you idolize, that isn’t you. It’s very important for you to understand that BEING YOU IS ENOUGH. We live in times where taking the easy way out is acceptable. That the larger the bank account, the more respected you are. The nicer your clothes, the fancier your car, the shinier bling you wear, the more followers you have, these things shouldn’t determine the person you’re meant to be. What determines you is what you think of yourself, and if you’re respectful enough to give yourself the time to grow, then the sky’s the limit for you. But just because someone else says something is impossible, doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you. In the same way HEART has become a voice for the community, you become a voice for yourself.
Finally, there’s nothing wrong going against what other people say – I’ve lived it my whole live. I’m the first one in my family to drop out of high school, and I’m the eldest of six. You can imagine how annoyed my (Tongan) parents were when they found out. I ended up being the butt of everyone’s jokes, I wasn’t the cool guy at school. But I accepted that because I was the guy that got along with everyone. So, you need to figure out what you’re good at, and run with it. You don’t want to look back at life filled with regret because you’re unhappy. Be respectful, and do it your own way.